I'm pretty sure this doesn't happen often. . .so take advantage now!
So many changes are getting ready to sweep through my and Steven's world. There are many things we are excited about, afraid of, and unsure of. I am sure everyone's fears are a tad bit different at each stage of their life. . .
Steven of course is very worried about being a good Dad. I of course think he is going to be wonderful. . .which is part of the reason I fell in love with him. I on the other hand worry about the changes it is going to bring to our marriage. How do we juggle everything? How will we make sure we are making time for the two of us? Will we still laugh and be goofy. . .or do we will all of sudden become "serious parents"??? So I thought I would throw the question out. . .how have you managed to keep your marriage a priority? What tidbits can you offer us before we bring home our bundle of joy? What did you notice about your parents marriage that seemed to work for them?
To all the mothers out there, I hope you have a wonderful Mothers Day weekend! I am grateful for all of you and the mentoring you have given me (even when you don't know you are doing it).
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About Me
- Kelly
- I'm a wife and a mom who can't pass up a good deal. From time to time I get crafty, and when I do and I think it is something that will help out your family, I promise to share. This is a community so if there is something you would like to pass on, feel free to drop me a line. My family believes it takes a village, and a village we shall become!
If all you do is go for a walk , then go for a walk and get out of the house. Mothers often feel trapped inside the house regrdless of how much they love the baby. For the first few months it really is crucial to keep friends around, not for help so much as for support. You need friends there to remind you that really, nothing has changed. You are still you. It is during this time that we tend to let our friends go because we are just too busy or too exhausted. Pick one night a week, with or without a sitter and do something for the two of you. That means: teach the baby that he will go along with mom and dad and not be the center of the universe, if you put out the vibe that you're relaxed , confident, and in charge, he will sleep through even a movie, but it's all in your attitude. Serious parents suck, and they raise ridiculous children. If you show the kid that you're happy and happy with life in general, that's all he needs to hear to be a well adjusted person. It is unfortunate that we have to speak of this, but Steven will have to know some signs of depression. It will be important for him to be able to ask a lot of questions, even crossing that unseen barrier a time or two to ask "are you okay?" and the answer will always be "yes", so Steven needs to trust his gut. Most moms experience some depression, a lot brought on by exhaustion, there is no shame in it, there is no stigma attached. Steven needs to make sure Kelly has naps, baths, walks alone...something that will give him and baby time together without mom. There's no such thing as "taking turns"...there really is no FAIR in baby rearing. If you feel like you're carrying the burden, ask the other if they are feeling left out. Always, always give credit...always let your partner know that you're thankful, or that you were impressed, or that you were amazed. Being grateful for baby is nice, being grateful for each other is a miracle.Make a miracle each day.I ador you both, can I sign this anonymous???hehee <3
ReplyDeleteThank you Sherry!!! You make me want to be a cool converse wearing mommy!
ReplyDeleteKelly it will be everything you hope, fear and can't even image. . . at least that's how it's been over here. I agree with your friend about keeping contact with your friends. I have a couple of mommy friends here in Denver whom I have lunch with every Wed. Their companionship and advise is wonderful. They kept me from feeling like a freak, a failure and a lunatic when I was in the height of my PP depression. It seemed to peak at 6 wks because of the exhaustion. It gets better after that, because the Little One will start sleeping better after the 6 wk mark. I know it's a little bit of a drive for you, but I would love for you to come with me to the Mommy Lunch when you are on maternity leave. The Little Nipper will fall asleep during the drive and you will need to get out of the house. I haven't forgotten about getting together before Junior arrives. Did you say that May 11 is your day off? My memory is shot. No one tells you that you lose your memory after you deliver. ;o) Call me.
ReplyDeleteMake sure that you and Steven carve out time alone without baby on a regular basis. Make yourself plan an outing weekly and if it gets interrupted by a baby emergency (there will be many, almost daily) reschedule it immediately as if your life depended on it. Use your family and friends to help you, don't be afraid to ask. You need time everyday to clear your head and relax with a walk, bath, nap, book. Your baby will still love you and will not become an axe murderer if you leave him with a sitter. Don't try to be mother of the year. Those kinds end up unhappy and frustrated, depressed and tired as hell! God gave you the gift of wonderful friends with whom you share a calling. We are all ready and waiting for a call to arms to hold and nurture your baby along with you. Use the gift!
ReplyDeleteOh, and Kelly.....I can't wait!!!!!!!!
After reading these posts I can say that you have some very wise friends. It is so hard to give advise as everyones situation and feelings are so different. I agree with trying to spend time with Steven alone...no baby allowed! I am not fortunate enough to have family around and that played into my post partum depression. Use your family and get out! I felt trapped as awful as that seems. I know you are an independent soul, just as I am and it is tough to feel like you have lost some freedom. Just remember, it only gets easier. Don't be afraid to ask for help...I didn't and it costed me. Okay, enough of the tough stuff!! Motherhood is wonderful! A true blessing. It is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I try not to take a minute for granted. You will be an amazing mother and I can't wait to meet your little man. He is so loved already!
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