However I am compelled to write for Gray. He is so unaware, as he should be. But this is a part of his lifetime, and I want him to be able to look back at this and own it, and hopefully be proud of what we have all learned.
Yesterday our day started out normal, but instead of heading to work after dropping off Gray at his seemingly safe Ms. Dana's house, Steven and I headed to Juvenile court. A few hours in juvenile court will make you weep for our future. I had no idea how much weeping would be done.
A couple of months ago, Steven had three students threaten to stab and cut him up. They were mad over some grades, and cell phones. In their minds he was so unfair. WHY? Why do so many young children not feel accountability? WHY? Why do they feel like they are owed the right to do whatever they want?
In the court room we saw a 12 yr. old come in shackles. WHY? Why had violence reached and taken a hold of his heart? Where did he see such violence?
We saw an entire family stand before a judge, a 5th, 6th and 7th grade set of siblings. They had sneaked out and busted out a church window. WHY? What possessed them to test limits and boundaries in such extremes? What boundaries have they been pushing all along? What were they screaming about that we were ignoring?
We saw kids stand before a judge. Stand before a judge because of assaults, threats, racial sparked assaults, violation of probation. . .
Towards the end of the morning, close to lunch time, all of a sudden cases were rushed, dismissed, continued. WHY? Why are WE not teaching them accountability? Why are we not teaching them that even though they are culturally and socially created, there are norms, mores, boundaries? What are WE afraid of? Why are we allowing it to spin out of control so that we are all on lock down?
As soon as I heard about the tragedies yesterday at two schools, one on each side of our planet, my first thought, was how glad I was to still be able to protect Gray from this ugliness. Gray doesn't know evil. He doesn't know scary, or hate. He knows death, but only in a "natural" form. Then I wondered how many of the children in Sandy Hook knew about evil before that day?
I grieve for the parents, the spouses, the sisters, brothers, and the children.
We keep comparing this to the past. . .so what have we learned. We have amazing lock down procedures. Once again the schools are doing their job, but what have we learned? What are we doing differently in our living rooms? We have Rachel's Challenge now. Again. . .once again the schools are doing what they CAN. But what are we doing differently? What are YOU doing differently at your dinner table? We have campaigns for nonviolent schools. Again, the schools the TEACHERS are doing their part, but what are YOU doing? What are you doing in your backyard?
How much has your TV been on today? What real, authentic experiences are the children around you getting? Is their Zhu-Zhu pet the closest thing to a real living pet they have ever had? How are they supposed to appreciate life, when the closest we give them is what they see on TV, or shoot on the computer, or fight on their Xbox? Sure, it seems harmless. . .but is it?
We see a shift in our society. We keep asking WHAT HAS HAPPENED? Where did we go wrong? Church, prayer in schools. . .we love pointing fingers to everything on the outside. Never looking at what goes on in our own homes. Breakdown of the family, technology for mindless activities (really you want your children to be mindless?), unknown communities (how many of you really know your neighbors), fast food dinners (never mind the thought of what we are actually feeding ourselves, but when did you all sit at the table together last?), stuff. So much stuff. . .who are we competing with? My son has asked for candy for Christmas. I have never been so relieved. He doesn't know about stuff. . .he already has too much stuff. I don't want him to be obsessed with stuff. I don't know that I will always be able to keep it at bay, but hopefully we are setting a good foundation.
Sure, I feel strongly about a spiritual foundation. Ask my son where God is. . .he'll tell you in his heart. Not in a building only on Sunday mornings. When are we going to realize that it is more than church? When will we realize that it is a personal journey, and that instead of arguing the name of what is sacred to you, that it is more important to allow for the journey. Are you more worried about church on Sunday morning that you are about your child realizing the connection of what is real in the world, and what your sacred created for you to live in CONNECTION with? Be true to your journey and your community will happen.
Today I was invited to be a part of a pay it forward event. I challenge you the same. Maybe your pay it forward could be just to take a walk with a young one in your life. Take a second to listen to that bird. Seems insignificant? But allowing that sweet, innocent young person to slow down, appreciate and connect with the sacred, and experience REAL life, is far from insignificant. Think of how the rewards from this could be paying itself forward to a long time to come?
Allow our children to have empathy, to experience real, authentic experiences. Let them know love, joy, pain, and yes even death, and pain. Empathy is what keeps this from happening. Empathy is what makes us human. Do not keep them on an emotional lock down.
Nope, you won't be hearing about this on TV :)
